Category Archives: Communication

What She Has To Offer

I’m in the kitchen starting the coffee when Mom comes in. “What can I do to help?” she asks before she even clears the door.

It is very important to Mom to feel useful. She doesn’t like others doing things for her. I try to make sure there is always a job she is able to do. Sometimes that is difficult, but this morning I am prepared.

“There’s Windex and paper towels on the table there,” I say. “Can you just wipe the table off for me?” She cleaned it last night, but she won’t remember that.

“K.O., I’ll do it!” she says, tearing off several paper towels with alacrity. “Is this the Windex?” She motions toward the blue spray bottle.

I turn from the coffeemaker. “Yep, that’s it.”

But before she can start, Mom sits abruptly in the large kitchen armchair, wincing. “Oooh,” she murmurs, rubbing her legs, the paper towels still in one hand.

Mom does not show pain often, so I’m alarmed. “What?”

“Well, it’s just …” She pulls both soft cotton pant legs up to her thighs. Her lower legs are puffy above her tight ankle socks and around her knees.

For the full article

Thanks to the NY Post Blog for this article!

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What Is Home Health Care?

Simply stated it is the physical and mental supportive system and care services provided to those persons wishing to remain in their homes or assisted living apartments by a caregiver, caregiving agency, and/or assisted living environment when they can no longer perform (without help) the day-to-day activities of everyday living.

Today, many persons are opting for home care, and or home care assistance in assisted living environments as outpatient care has become the ‘norm’ for hospitals and insurance companies. Home care is appealing to many of us as we most often feel that our home is an extension of ourselves.  Receiving ‘in-home-health-care’ can be a great benefit to those recovering from surgery or other medical procedures that can limit their ability to easily take care of themselves, or maybe they just require a little extra help managing things as they grow older or maybe they are learning to live with a medical condition or disability. Whatever the scenario, I urge you to review and consider the questions below as this ‘issue’ nears closer to you and yours.

Read More Here

 

 

 

Answering The Call

Family caregivers understand the apprehension that often comes with worrying about their senior parents…the anticipation of a midnight phone call can be nerve-racking for anyone. According to the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists (ASCP) even though seniors represent just over 13 percent of the population, they consume 40 percent of prescription drugs and 35 percent of all over-the-counter drugs…

Most often family caregivers don’t know what their loved ones’ are taking and to add to the confusion, they are in the dark about their parents and financial and legal information. Home Instead Senior Care® surveyed future family caregivers…those individuals who plan on caring for their parents when the need arises to determine their level of knowledge and awareness when it comes to important information about their parents…What we found was that:

While survey participants overall feel informed about their parents’ health situation, there were ‘knowledge gaps’

A significant number of survey participants predict that they will begin caring for their parents within the next three years; nearly one in 10 says he or she could be called into action literally any minute.

Less than one-half of future caregivers say that they are knowledgeable about their parents’ medical histories in case of an emergency.

Even though a majority of future caregivers say their parents are healthier than other people their age, nearly two-thirds of the parents have two or more medical or health conditions, and nearly one-half takes at least three medications.

Nearly one-half of the parents exhibit three or more “risk factors” that could lead to medication-related problems.

Future caregivers have varying degrees of knowledge about their parents’ advisors and service providers; they are most likely to know their parents’ banker, primary care physician and health insurance provider.

Knowledge of important documents runs hot and cold, with nearly one-third of future caregivers reporting that they don’t know where their parents keep their will and testament or don’t know if they have one.

A significant number of future caregivers say they have not tried to ask their parents for information related to their parents’ health histories or their parents’ plans for the future.

As a result of this study, the Home Instead Senior Care network worked with the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists (ASCP) to provide additional information about the relevant topic of medication management. Also, the Home Instead Senior Care network and Humana Points of Caregiving® worked together to develop the Caring for Your Seniors: Senior Emergency Kit; an information management tool and website to help family caregivers track medications and other important financial information regarding a senior loved one’s health. This toolkit includes checklists and worksheets for medications, conditions, allergies, doctors, health advisors and a place to store other vital records.

Home Instead Senior Care Is On Cable!

Finally, we are ON AIR! Just wanted to let our BLOG, TWITTER and FACEBOOK friends and readers know that the Home Instead Senior Care cable show is on! Hope you enjoy watching and hearing from those business’ and people who offer additional support and help to the growing population of seniors. It is my hope that the cable show will offer insight into better managing our families as we all enter into the ‘golden years.’ Here’s the cable station internet, AACS link where you may view the shows that have previously aired. Each week additional shows will be added. Lots more to come…guests are already booked through August. Any ideas for what you may want to know more about, your comments and/or input is always appreciated!

Caregiver Strategies!

Below are some strategies that may help family caregivers turn resistance into assistance! And always feel free to call on us as well for support and resources.

1. Understand where the resistance is coming from. Ask your parent why he or she is resisting. “Mom, I notice that every time I bring up the idea of someone coming in to help, you resist it. Why is that?” Oftentimes older adults don’t realize they are being resistant.

2. Explain your goals. Remind your loved one that you both want the same thing. Explain that a little extra help can keep her at home longer and will help put your mind at ease as well. Have a candid conversation with him about the impact this care is having on your life. Oftentimes seniors don’t understand the time commitment of a caregiver.

3. Bring in outside help. If a relationship with a parent is deteriorating, ask a professional, such as a geriatric care manager, for an assessment. A third-party professional can provide valuable input. If you are having problems getting through to your older adult, consider asking another family member or close friend to intervene. If you’re not making headway, perhaps there’s someone better to talk with your parents.

4. Research your options to find the best resources for your loved one. If you decide outside help is needed, reassure your parents and tell them you have researched caregivers and you are confident you have found the best one you can find to come into the home to help.

5. Respect your parent’s decisions. Sometimes you won’t agree with your parent’s decisions and that’s O.K. As long as your loved one is of sound mind, he or she should have the final say.

Elder Mediation: Helping Adult Familes Resolve Conflict

The disputes may start quietly, but they can and do brew into hot and heated arguments and believe it or not they have split families apart.

Take for example:

Mom left a pot boiling on the stove again…you are fearful she’ll burn the house down.

Dad is getting forgetful and isn’t paying his monthly bills. You, and your siblings live far away and through neighbors find out that the heat and electricity were turned off.

Dad’s got more scrapes and scratches on his car than the grandkids do on their knees…you want him to STOP driving.

As adult children you are concerned and decide amongst yourselves to take-over…One of you wants to get Dad declared mentally incompetent, so the family can take control of his finances. One of you threatens to take Dad’s car keys. He threatens to write you out of his will. Another one of your siblings wants the house to be sold and Mom to enter assisted living.

Dad is now very angry…Mom thinks you’re over-reacting. Both parents are mortified…Dad because his kids are looking into how much money he has and how his finances are organized and Mom because she feels as though the children are trying to control her life.

For More:

Contemplating The Inevitable

It dawned on me, albeit reluctantly, that I am perilously close to being classified ‘a senior’, hence my pursuit of information; i.e. ‘senior stuff’…the importance of which is far greater to me today. Several years ago I was clueless to the ramifications of getting older or the havoc the same could wreak in regards to the ‘quality of life’. AARP has been issuing me a ‘join’ card for several years (possibly 10), which I avoid, as if to do so would miraculously keep me ‘age stationary’. But I digress…

Currently on my ‘be informed and educate others’ list is to advocate and encourage baby-boomers to discuss and prepare for that which is inevitable so that they make ‘aging’ arrangements that satisfy their needs and at the same time keep others in the loop as to their wishes. As an employee of Home Instead Senior Care I am all too aware that many seniors reach ‘critical crisis’ mode before any plans for care, care-giving duties, payments, assistance or living quarters have been given any thought either by the senior, their children and/or their extended family members.

Read More Here

More Prevalent Than You May Believe

The story below outlines the fact that senior abuse can and does happen in all walks of life. The rich and the powerful may be as susceptible to it as those living on median (or less) incomes. Abuse may be the result of family dynamics, stress, financial issues…whatever the cause…if you see it (or think you see it) please share your findings with someone who can help before a tragedy ensues. Actor Mickey Rooney has been the alleged victim of elder abuse at the hands of his own stepkids, according to restraining orders filed Monday. The 90-year-old actor, who, born into vaudeville has had one of the longest careers of any actor, was granted court protection from stepson Chris Aber and his stepdaughter Christina Aber, after he filed a case against them charging verbal, emotional and financial abuse, and for denying him such basic necessities as food and medicine. The court documents say that both Chris and Christina Aber have been keeping Rooney as “effectively a prisoner in his own home” through the use of threats, intimidation and harassment. Read More Here

Seniors Driving Safely and Responsibly

An older driver does not necessarily mean an unsafe driver. Many older drivers compensate for declining abilities and continue to educate themselves on driving and traffic issues.

Regardless of age, certain functional abilities must be present in order to drive safely. Chief among these are:
· Cognitive-the mental process of acquiring knowledge by the use of reasoning, intuition, or perception
· Visual- basic and complex vision as well as depth perception and night vision
· Physical-being able to coordinate and move the body

As we age, these abilities naturally decline, and a majority of the time, medical issues and/or the medications taken can further decline these abilities. The changes are often subtle and not always recognized by individuals.

Get an evaluation of your loved ones driving skills or suggest they take a refresher course…
AARP Driver Safety Education Class

Medical Power of Attorney and Living Wills

A Medical Power of Attorney gives an individual the ability to make medical decisions for another person when they become unable to do so. This is an extremely important document to have as a parent ages, since their ability to make decisions about complex medical matters may change quickly.

Note that both a Living Will and a Medical Power of Attorney must be in the format of the state in which the parent lives to be accepted. Most attorneys advise that both documents are not necessarily needed and that there is a possibility they could conflict with each other. A Living Will can be interpreted by any member of the family and remember that most siblings and family members can rarely agree to a single decision, let alone multiple ones.

In Massachusetts the state has no provisions for a Living Will, but does have a Health Care Proxy, which is a simple document, legally valid in Massachusetts, which allows you to name someone (an “agent”) to make health care decisions on your behalf if you are unable to make or communicate those decisions. This Health Care Proxy document, provided free of charge, gives a clear explanation of the responsibilities of a health care agent, and simple directions on how fill out and sign the form. There are also instructions on how to revoke or cancel the document at a later date, if you choose to do so.

In the case of my Dad, he was mentally competent prior to being sent to the hospital one Sunday morning. But he would not sign any documents without at least one of his children present, and he was in Florida and we were all in Massachusetts. Since not one of us had the medical ‘surogate power’ (Florida standards), it was impossible for us to do anything until we arrived in Florida.

I could cite multiple horror stories from people who delayed too long in obtaining this document. The best advice is to find out how your parent’s state of residence treats this document and to talk about it with your parent before it is actually needed and then speak with a trusted attorney about exactly what is needed in your parent’s state of residence.